We're Being INVADED!!!!

Okay, I know that I am noted for my disgusting stories, so I don't want to disappoint...
The other night I was sooo tired, but I couldn't fall asleep. I was so mad!! AND, to add to the frustration, I kept hearing scratching followed be loud THUDS in the attic directly over our bed. I started grunting and rolling over every few minutes, and finally Eric just said, "Will you BE QUIET!?!?! You woke me up!" I pointed out to him that there was a rodent making a nest directly over our bed in the attic and it was being VERY LOUD, and I couldn't SLEEP! I wanted him to jump out of bed and take care of the whole rodent thing -- even though it was 3AM!! Well, obviously no one in their right mind would go rodent hunting in the attic at 3 am...
So, the next morning while getting dressed, I heard the scratching and thumping once again... I suddenly remembered that taser Eric gave me for Christmas, and wondered what would happen... I got it out, aimed it directly at the spot where the thuds were coming from, and BANG!!! (Did you know that tasers "BANG?!?!" -- I thought that they just shot electricity across the room -- kind of like that guy in "Star Wars" when he can shoot electricity out of his fingers...????) It looked like I had pulled the cork off of one of those New Year's confetti shooters... My head was pounding, heart was throbbing, and I couldn't really speak for about a minute. I scared myself to DEATH!!! That was NOT what I was expecting! I wanted to be like the "Star Wars" guy! I didn't want a New Year's explosion!!
Finally I found my voice, and the lump went down a little, and I called Eric, and asked him to come into the bedroom really FAST! (I couldn't believe he didn't hear the shrilling bang that nearly made me pass out!) He walked in and saw the "confetti hanging from the ceiling looked at me, and it took everything in him to NOT laugh hysterically at me! He KNEW my entire thought process, and then explained to me that I am NOT to shoot things before reading the instructions or watching a video, or letting HIM give me lessons, AND that tasers don't shoot through the ceiling...
I OBVIOUSLY figured all of that out, BUT just as he was explaining all of that, the scratching and thuds returned... UUUUGGGG!
I thought that was enough rodent mess, but NOOOOO!
My friend, Heather, was staying with us for the weekend, and she likes to sleep with lots fans, so I went out to the garage to get our other fan. I brought it into Emily's room where Heather was sleeping, and I plugged in the fan, turned it on, and then it made a really loud sound, like when you put cards in your bike wheels... Well, I shook the fan and a little dirt came out, and I saw some toys in there. So, I was just a little annoyed that the kids had put toys in the fan, but thought I could just shake them out of the way. So I gave the fan one more BIG shake, and when I did THERE WAS A MOUSE!!!! It was dead and crunchy!!!!! I jerked the fan OUT OF THE WALL, ran down the hall as fast as I could! I tripped over my own feet and crashed into the wall, slipped across the kitchen floor, and finally THREW THE FAN OUTSIDE!!!!
Now, those of you who know me well, know that I am a germ freak... I couldn't help but think of all the crunchy mouse parts that I had fanned across Emily's room, and shaken all over ME! I started a very thorough cleaning and disinfecting process on the carpets and floors and then myself!!!
I am contemplating STARVING the cat, so that he will do his JOB...