Confessions from Cat

No matter what choices I make in life, whether it be good decisions or bad, every decision I make causes a wake. A ripple in the lives of those around me. Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that, and I just want to do my own thing rather than rememebering that God is actually in charge of every single choice I make, not me. But we serve a precious God who is full of grace, who also allows me to fall on my face HARD so that I can see that I can't do it alone. I love and hate that all at the same time...
I have been dealing with alot lately, in ways that I never dreamed I would struggle, and it's been one of the most difficult things I have had to face since my eating disorder. It's funny how quickly and easily sin can creep in and make itself at home, and you don't realize it until everything in life is unraveling. The hardest part is when you realize that you've not only hurt yourself, but the ones you love the most, and your relationship with the Lord isn't as close because you've chosen other things over him. It doesn't take long for that to happen!
I am so blessed to have a husband, kids, and family that love me and point me to Christ when I am not looking to Him. I know that I am not the only person on the earth that struggles with things, so I think that you can relate in your own personal way. Going through the desert is so hard and painful, but remember you are not alone.

Next Week...In a funk.

So next week is CRAZY for me! Can't wait for it to be over. I am decorating this weekend, and the guy that I was totally depending on to help me went to a different country for the holidays... SO, I get to do it alone for the most part. Oh well, I can handle that, but I am already in a major funk, and don't need to add more stress on top of "the crazies."
Sunday, I won't even go there, is going to be difficult for me due to some strange things going on... Monday and Tuesday I am going to be the best mom I can be, but come Wednesday, I will be invisible to everyone. I am cooking for a tea that I am hosting for 200+ people, making the decorations, and taking care of all the specifics, etc. Thursday is the tea, but Friday is when I am singing at DBU for their homecoming. I am sooooo nervous about it. I haven't sang -- like show tunes and stuff -- in 7 years. I'm only singing one song, so in a way that makes it even worse because I can't mentally work through the whole nervous issue. I have to fake it and be perfect. UUUGGGG! I am also having a full orchestra behind me (if only I was singing a song I loved... oh well). If any of you guys want to come, it's completely free. It's at DBU in the Burg, starting at 8pm on Friday. Get there early. It will be packed.
BUT, I am VERY greatful that Thanksgiving week is coming and I have several days where I can get my head straight and hopefully enjoy doing nothing.
For those of you who read this to find out about my mom, she is doing MUCH better! The only complications she has now are the fact that she will be in pain for a very long time. She is going to work (she couldn't stay away if she tried...) and she is being super woman yet again. The whole "pack" is in San Diego this week, but will be back soon -- maybe tomorrow!!
Evan and Emily are growing up too fast, and they are the best kids in the world!! Eric is so ready to be home and finally be a family again. We've all missed that. It's been so long it seems.

(Sorry girls! I FINALY got around to getting these up!)
These are the pics of a bunch of us carving pumpkins in the back yard (obviously), and Halloween, and one pic of Tony Bennett (when I saw him a few weeks ago!). Sorry I not wordy for once!

This is an old pic that I found on Eric's computer. I am in "Carosel." I thought it was funny to come across this picture because I am singing Rogers and Hammerstein songs -- including the one I am singing in this picture -- for DBU's homecoming in a few weeks.

We are playing legos today. I am having a hard time slowing down so I am forcing myself to do nothing but play. I hate that I have a hard time playing. That didn't use to be the case. You guys know me, I am the one that's getting out the shaving cream and water balloons and making a ness of the place in honor of FUN, but lately all I can think of is the fact that I don't have time to clean things up. We are ON PURPOSE trashing the place today, and i am letting go of this rediculous notion that I "don't have time." I don't have time NOT to get messy and knee deep in legos and My Little Ponies. (I will confess that I am playing the blog rather than cleaning while the kids watch a movie...) It's lunch time, and we are still in our PJ's. AHHH! We whipped out the silly string and have had one war, but war 2 will be on after lunch!! (Poor Dollie usually gets brunt of the silly string, but it's still fun!) I didn't go to work today because Emily keeps having throw-up sessions and tummy issues (I think that they are over), but we still needed to have a "get perfectly well" day.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but I have to start decorating our house for Christmas before I start doing everyone elses otherwise I won't want to do it, so I should be doing that today -- but I'm not right now! Well, Tom and Jerry is over! I'm off to play!